A topic to write

The problem with blogging is that one is always writing for others to read rather than whatever jumble of thoughts that tumbles out of one's mind. Those thoughts have to be ordered so that they become readable, edited so that nobody's sensibilities are affected (incidentally, the grammar here is interesting, nobody is almost clearly singular whereas sensibilities are plural, {have you heard of a sensibility?}), and censored so that one's own privacy is maintained.

The sentence above is a clear example of what I mean (and if it is not, then my point only gets underlined further!).

So, what does one write about? Love? Religion? Cynicism? How does one classify one's thoughts into this kind of order?

But lets take a topic to write about. Let me give you, gentle reader, my take on rituals.

In today's age, rituals appear pretty meaningless. In fact in one of my own earlier musings, I had mocked one such ritual. However, one does need to take a look at why such rituals may have come into being.

If we examine ourselves in detail, we would notice the development of certain habits within us. The formalisation of such habits is rituals. On a bigger scale, rituals helped people pass time when there was no radio or tv or internet (or blogging for that matter). So you do a set of things on Diwali (to suggest a common festival). The set of things you do may be different (from taking an oil bath in Tamil Nadu to playing cards in Punjab.

A classic example of rituals is the practice of 'japa' where one repeatedly does something like say 100 hail mary's or vishnu sahasranama etc. The act of such litany is to force focus on the ritual itself. What this does is clear other thoughts out of your mind giving it rest and rejuvenation. In short, Hail Mary is better than Bloody Mary!!!!!

How to cure yourself of positive thinking

Somebody generally sent me a forward about 212 degrees. The gist of the story was that at 211 degrees (F), water is hot. At 212 degrees, it boils. And with boiling water comes steam. And with steam you can power a train. A wag commented, "That is all fine, but before you reach 212 degrees, you have to reach 211. There is no point in being so gung ho about the 212th degree if you do not have the capacity to reach 211.

In my opinion, entirely too much is made out of positive thinking. You cannot become an Olympic runner merely by thinking positively about it. In the first place you have to have serious talent. After that, you have to work had to hone that talent into a skill. Then you need luck (or perhaps an OBC certificate). THEN perhaps you may get to be an Olympic runner.

Come to think of it, this argument is not really so bad. Look at it this way. If EVERYBODY wanted to be an olympic runner and EVERYBODY thought positively, what would happen? Your talent and fitness etc would come into play right?

Then, is positive thinking bad? Not entirely I feel (notwithstanding my blogspot page title). It is a known fact that a feeling of goodness about oneself generally helps one work hard at whatever one wants provided it is in measured doses. If one goes about with the mindset that nothing is going to come out of whatever you thought of doing, then you will do nothing and nothing will come out.

Loneliness

One thing that has always struck me is that a lot of people are lonelier than they think. I remember one interaction I had with a kid on a chat site (I was 37, she was 19) where I proposed that chat is the abode of the lonely. She refuted it saying that it was just another form of entertainment akin to reading, watching movies and what have you. I then asked her why she chatted rather than read or watch movies. She countered saying that it was more interactive. And then.... the penny dropped and she said "Maybe you are not THAT dumb"!!!

But, coming back to loneliness, we find ourselves at our most lonely when things appear to be going not so great for us. And less lonely at times of great pleasure or joy. I tend to disagree. At times of great pleasure or joy, nobody is going to have the exact amount of joy that you do. And you will find that other people's willingness to listen to you harp on about your great joy suddenly drops off exponentially. And here you are, with this tremendous bubble swelling within you and nowhere to ease the pressure... ergo loneliness. And this can be as frustrating as during lows.

It is easy to blame others for leaving you alone when you are low. But think about it, when you are low, it is because of some inadequacy in you (that is another of my pet theories; at the end of the day, you are responsible for everything that happens to you). Even if you call it bad luck, it is merely a theory of UNfulfillment of expectations. YOUR expectations. Under these circumstances, it is hard to have a sense of togetherness when one has to concede one's inadequacy to meet the circumstances to yourself first, and then to others who want to share these bad times with you.

I am not saying that loneliness is bad or undesirable or desirable. What I am saying is that it is inevitable.

Starting my own Blog

For a long time, I have been resisting the idea of setting up a blog. For one, I am not confident of my ability to gather up a string of coherent thoughts which could give anybody any pleasure to read. I still doubt I have any. However, this place struck me as a good outlet for the violent storm of thoughts that is my (what one may call) a mind.

Having lived more than half (by all probabilities) my life, my mind is a mixture of pleasures at milestones attained, disappointments at those missed, wonder at where one has reached today in terms of the dreams one had as a child, anguish at the knowledge of a physically failing body (inevitably), an incredible desire to die while in full control of one's faculties combined with a childish perversion to watch the world after my death...

Readers, enter at your own peril because these thoughts are disturbing, yet fascinating insofar as it goes to show how convoluted one's thought process can become.