Loneliness

One thing that has always struck me is that a lot of people are lonelier than they think. I remember one interaction I had with a kid on a chat site (I was 37, she was 19) where I proposed that chat is the abode of the lonely. She refuted it saying that it was just another form of entertainment akin to reading, watching movies and what have you. I then asked her why she chatted rather than read or watch movies. She countered saying that it was more interactive. And then.... the penny dropped and she said "Maybe you are not THAT dumb"!!!

But, coming back to loneliness, we find ourselves at our most lonely when things appear to be going not so great for us. And less lonely at times of great pleasure or joy. I tend to disagree. At times of great pleasure or joy, nobody is going to have the exact amount of joy that you do. And you will find that other people's willingness to listen to you harp on about your great joy suddenly drops off exponentially. And here you are, with this tremendous bubble swelling within you and nowhere to ease the pressure... ergo loneliness. And this can be as frustrating as during lows.

It is easy to blame others for leaving you alone when you are low. But think about it, when you are low, it is because of some inadequacy in you (that is another of my pet theories; at the end of the day, you are responsible for everything that happens to you). Even if you call it bad luck, it is merely a theory of UNfulfillment of expectations. YOUR expectations. Under these circumstances, it is hard to have a sense of togetherness when one has to concede one's inadequacy to meet the circumstances to yourself first, and then to others who want to share these bad times with you.

I am not saying that loneliness is bad or undesirable or desirable. What I am saying is that it is inevitable.