The Ironies of Depression

Going through a depression is not perhaps the best thing that could happen to anybody. It perhaps affects different people differently. For me it manifests itself in some sort of scream in my head urging me alternately to feel terribly sorry for myself and to lash out at whatever seems at hand. Reflecting on interactions with friends who have been through such experiences would seem to suggest they feel similarly.



It is often said that one of the best ways to pull oneself out of a depression is to talk about it and take it out. However, this is far easier said than done. Depression would arise from a sense of dissatisfaction with the world and an inadequacy to deal with the cause of such dissatisfaction. How does one tell anybody about such inadequacy then? If you tell your friends, you worry that they will think less of you (most friends wouldn't, but that is not the point). If you tell a professional, that is tantamount to admitting to the whole world that something is wrong with you (something is, but that is not the point either).



Another reason for not talking about depression is the cynical view that talking about it is not going to change things and make the cause of the depression vanish. This is partially true; in fact, this is so in most cases. In a few rare instances, depression is brought about by misunderstandings. I know one instance of somebody going into depression because she was told by her lover that her beauty was not the reason he loved her. It took him a while to get her out of that depression. Superficially, it seems surprising because everyone wants to be loved for more than their physical attributes which are transient (botox, liposuction, and all other tools notwithstanding). Nevertheless, it can be horrifyingly real and yours truly too has had minor fits because some such trivia was overlooked.



Another characteristic of depressions seem to be mood swings. There are times when one gets elevated out of such a sense only to return not only more determinedly, but also deeper into a state of depression. This sensation is almost like receiving an enema (currently called "colon hydrotherapy"). The pressure seems to build and build till it becomes almost unbearable and then suddenly it subsides. Only to build up again (and harder) as another part of the intestine fills up with water.. till it can fill a third segment.



The enema is actually a good way to rationalise the framework for talking out. Releasing the water has a tremendous cathartic effect (without any pun here really). The after effects of such catharsis are truly beneficial. As a useless aside, one of the most avid practitioners of the enema was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (why can I not call him Mahatma?). However, if the water is not let out, the intestine could could burst and cause the person a lot of damage.


This rambling is partially a rattle to everybody (myself included) to take out the angst from your mind before it blows it up. Partially it is also part of the process of catharsis. And having said that, writing and/ or talking about such things do not change them. Action is needed. This just acts to lower the requirements for the energy of activation (is the chemical term surfactant?).