Chemistry - Theory and Practical

This musing is not about the field of science called chemistry. Rather it is about the interaction between two people, which for some reason has also come to be called by the same name.

What then causes two people to click together? It could be any of a number of things. One of the first reasons is loneliness. At the end of the day, whether we like it or not, we are all lonely. And while we all learn to deal with that loneliness one way or the other, there come instances when one feels so helpless that one cries and reaches out to grab whatever comes ones way. And if what one gets hold of, holds you firmly and helps you, some chemistry develops. Especially when one is used to being the one who reaches out and steady flailing arms which are reaching out.

Another reason, as a corollary to the previous paragraph is the response to the gratitude shown by the steadied arm. The display of gratitude unfailingly causes a tremendous endorphinic release in the giver of gratis.

Sometimes though, a mere look is enough to start things. Or a chance conversation.

I am probably lucky (or unlucky) enough to have experienced chemistry through all these mechanisms.

Chemistry theory is all fine though. Practical chemistry is far more difficult to handle. Especially with the onset of online communications which build up a set of online relationships which are just as solid and real (don't let anybody tell you its virtual). The major problem with chemistry is that people expect it to be a single bond with one entity only. And a lot of peoply are experiencing that it is just not practical. How do you dismiss this second (real or online) person who thinks the sun shines out of your arse as virtual and regard the spouse or partner who unfailingly brings you down to earth reminding you of your shortcomings (real or imagined) and telling you what an incomplete person you are? And how do you decide which one is the best?

As one gets older, one slowly comes to the conclusion that getting out of what appears to be an unpalatable relationship presently does not necessarily mean you will get into Utopia. Because a relationship bares naked all the strengths and flaws of an individual and the human mind is such that flaws get exaggerated far more than virtues. Getting out of an uncomfortable situation could mean that you are trading one kind of discomfort for another. Which is often more unpalatable.

This debate has no conclusion. Neither does this post.